I had a facebook rant earlier today about a frustrating episode at the supermarket. A couple of friends asked why I didn’t just ditch my trolley and go back later. Here’s why:
7am, wake up, make cup of tea and chat to toddler about chocolate milk and it’s specific temperature requirements.
7.05am – ask toddler to sit tight while I go to the toilet
7.06am – toddler starts calling “Mummy, Muuuuummmmyyyyy I finished my milk”. Stop mid excretion and go speak to toddler about the concept of waiting while Mummy toilets.
7.10am – continue drinking tea and try to listen to news while talking to toddler about Angry Birds.
7.30am – start cleaning kitchen, baby is awake. Change baby, hold baby until she is awake, give her toys, continue cleaning kitchen.
7.45am – let dog out
7.47am – let dog back in
8am – put baby in activity centre for safety from dog and toddler…take 5 minute shower
8.05am – quickly dress (attempting to find clothes that not only fit but match…. give up).
8.15am – make and feed baby breakfast, clean her up, put her down to play.
8.30am – make and feed breakfast to toddler.
8.45am – make and inhale own breakfast (being careful of GI’s and calorie intake).
8.50am – dress baby and put her back to bed, re-settle every 5 minutes until 9.30am
9am – dress toddler, coax him in to brush teeth and hair. Realise I haven’t brushed my own hair in two days. Pull hair out of elastic and comb with fingers… try to decide if I can get away with the “tousled look”. No, it just looks like I don’t own a brush. Brush teeth and hair, quickly apply makeup.
9.15am – look for toddlers school bag, realise I have forgotten to make him lunch. Make lunch, in specific shapes, in specific box. Locate drink bottle, hat, towel, permission slip.
9.20am – get baby up (hasn’t slept). But her shoes on, put her down while putting toddlers shoes on. Meanwhile baby has removed her shoes.
9.30am – load everyone and bags into car and drive to school.
9.40am – unload everyone and bags, put lunchbox, drink, hat, towel, permission slip in required places. Give toddler pep-talk about appropriate behavior.
10am – arrive at shops, look for big enough parking space for boat sized car. Success! Load baby into carrier, pick up nappy bag and grocery bags and walk to supermarket.
10.10am – Commence grocery shopping…continue for 50 minutes.
10.55am – complete groceries…no checkout operators. Proceed to self-check entire trolley worth of groceries
11am – ITEM IS IN THE BAGGING AREA!
11.10am – buy Chai Latte for quick sustenance and drink while pushing groceries back to car.
11.15am – load groceries into car, return trolley, remember baby. Load into care and drive home.
11.30am – arrive home and carry groceries inside
11.35am – carefully transfer sleeping baby to bed.
11.40am – put away groceries, begin cooking lasagne for dinner. Put mince into large pot and go to wash hands. There is no water. Use water from jug to rinse hands.
12pm – baby wakes. Make and feed baby lunch, baby is crying in ighchair and dog is barking, sauce is bubbling, door bell rings. Man from electricity and water company is asking if I would like him to replace all of my light bulbs with energy efficient ones. I ask him why my water isn’t working. He tells me about light bulbs. I ask him again about water. He tells me more about light bulbs. I tell him I have no interest in light bulbs today. He leaves.
12.15pm – Go for a walk outside to see evidence of water issue…. Walk to the other end of the street and ask the tradies what the issue is. Burst water main, fix time is 1 to 2 hours.
12.20pm – walk home, chat to neighbour about water issue, teething babies and maternity leave.
12.30 – settle baby to play, stir sauce. Begin folding laundry. Baby makes grunting noises and performs poonami. Take baby and change her, look for hand sanitiser. Continue folding clothes.
1.15pm – load baby into car and travel to pick up toddler.
1.30pm – Arrive at school, attach baby to front, find toddler, lunchbox, drink bottle, hat, towel, enquire about behavior. Find out what the “colour theme” is for next week. It’s blue.
1.45pm – travel home. Petrol light is on, baby is crying… decide to risk it, petrol can wait until tomorrow.
1.50pm – arrive home, fence tradie has arrived. Have constructive conversation about the placement of fencing poles for fence to chicken yard.
2.00pm – Settle toddler for rest, settle baby to bed. Put load of washing on, continue folding washing.
2.30pm – realise I haven’t eaten lunch and warm some soup.
3.00pm – Bring in dry washing, hang out wet washing, continue folding.
3.30pm – baby wakes, seems happy. Begin assembling lasagnes.
3.45pm – toddler rises, continue talking about buses and angry birds and make him a snack. Continue assembling lasagnes and clean kitchen.
4.10pm – teenager arrives home, enquire about day/week, make snack, nag about homework and assignments. Baby cries, time for a feed. Continue cleaning kitchen.
5.00pm – Prepare baby food. Attempt to feed baby… not interested. Take food back to kitchen, turn around and baby has massive spew all over highchair. Clean up spew… while it drips onto my shoes and dog tries to lick it off the floor. Toddler keeps asking me to “pleeeassseee find McQueen car”.
5.10pm – Take baby for bath, start to undress her, has poonamied. Turn bath off and take her to nursery to clean her up. Back to bathroom.
5.15pm – Husband and tween arrive home, have quick chat about status of various children. Bath baby, encourage other children through various baths and showers.
6.00pm – Open bottle of cider… ahhhhh – put lasagne in oven.
6.15pm – attempt to put baby to bed…
6.30pm – Sit down for dinner. Toddler has epic fight with husband about the appropriateness of lasagna for dinner. Toddler is sent to bed, baby is crying. Dinner is eaten in shifts.
6.45pm – Go to bed with baby to help her settle.
7.20pm – baby is asleep… a second 5 minute shower.
7.30pm – finally time to sit.
Wish I had worn my Jawbone activity tracker today. Really I should pack away various toys and do the ironing. Think I’ll open another cider.